i’m wearing a long black maxi dress with a tan rope belt cinched at my waist. i’m completely inebriated, tripping over my words and my feet. you take me to your car, where we sit for awhile. though the memories of the evening seemed hazy when the sun came up, i remembered one thing – – you.

i’m wearing an old fashioned navy blue crop top that ties in the front with american flag shorts that i painted a few hours previous. you pull in the driveway and you’re wearing a navy blue sweater vest. i’ve always loved sweater vests. i try not to look at you too much because i tend to blush uncontrollably. after an awkward trip to the bar where we managed to acquire 50 cent beers, we head down the street to a party on a rooftop. as i’m sitting on the rooftop drinking domestics that i don’t particularly favor, i wonder to myself if anything exists between the two of us. as the evening progresses, the sun dips beneath the clouds and fireworks light up the sky a few miles away. i turn to you, and before i can release the words i wish to say, you lean in and kiss me.

i’m wearing a black romper with a denim shirt that is extremely oversized and it is raining. we’re wandering the streets of baltimore admiring a gala of imaginative art. we watch a strange street performance and you hold my hand as we drink our extremely overpriced mixed drinks. as the rain starts coming down harder and faster, we frantically roam the streets sharing an umbrella as we look for shelter. a small artsy bar serves as our temporary protection from the water. a collective decision says we should conquer the rain so we head back outside and embrace it. i attempt to climb a wooden sculpture. you giggle when i get yelled at and we go back to sharing the umbrella.

i’m wearing a black romper and it’s hours passed the rain. we are drinking excessively in a friends apartment. amongst the craziness we still find each other and sneak outside to share an intimate moment. the night draws near and we both are pleasantly intoxicated. as we depart, i try to keep my cool as i help you to the car. you sleep on my shoulder for the 2 hour drive. i know you cannot stay all night, but the whole way home i dream about it. the night comes to an end around 3 a.m. when i open my eyes with you next to me in bed and i realize you cannot stay. though i so longingly wish you could.

i’m wearing a vulgar tee shirt about a football player i despise and you are in my backseat. the top is down and the wind blows through my curls as i drive frantically and panic about making my next turn. we arrive crisis-free, though my driving would probably persuade someone otherwise. without intention, it seems to be a night of pairs. we arrive at a sushi bar and there is live music. we chuckle at the name of one of the songs and when it is played we attempt to sing along sarcastically. the night moves forward and we are isolated from the others at a small pizza shop. we joke around about the police men that we encounter and before we can muster out any more words, they disappear. we casually wander the harbor as we admire the boats and wish we could embark on them. we hold hands and i smile as we find our way back to the others. amidst the chaos of the bar we unexpectedly invaded, i find you. the night is in your eyes. as we walk hand in hand back to the car, we admire the surroundings and take care of the others. the drive home is breezy with the top down, but i’m comfortably warm with you by my side. you know the perfect songs to play and we sing along lightheartedly. i pull the car into the driveway and we have an awkward kiss goodbye as our friends are waiting. i walk inside, wishing you could stay.

i’m wearing an absurdly snug, sheer black dress with a denim vest and heels. we arrive at the bar and i can already feel tears in my eyes. i pout because i know i’m leaving and our time together will be much more infrequent. as the night progresses you realize i’m hiding something. the more drinks i consume, the more it shows. you take me to the car and i sob uncontrollably. i apologize for being so sensitive and you insist that it is a good thing and forgive me for allowing my emotions get the best of me.

i’m wearing a small black dress with white stripes at the top because most of my clothes are already packed. i’m awaiting your arrival as i sit with my family at a restaurant i’m experiencing for the first time. the food i ordered arrives and i’m unimpressed. i drink a beer or two to pass the time. i stand outside and see you walking towards me and i immediately turn into one of those corny smiley face emoticons. we have a few more beers and my family vacates. it’s just you and i at a crowded bar and i could not be happier. we realize we would rather be with each other as we depart to spend a few hours seclusive. in the dark i feel your body take over mine. your dominance over my body is taking over my thoughts. unfortunately, our night is abruptly cut short. after an extended, intimate goodbye i lay down in bed and crave you the remainder of my wake.

i’m wearing knee-high socks, boxer shorts, and an oversized tee-shirt. i impetuously compose disorganized, passionate words relating to you.

here i am: confused, amorous, heavyhearted, and longing for your presence.


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